The Manhattan Kid

Waking Up

Some feel the need to create music or companies, they want to build something a legacy.  I feel that I’m driven to create great people.  I am starting to expect more out of the people around me.  I want to stand side by side with people who I am willing to go to war with.  

A lot can happen in a very short amount of time.  While I have a prediction of where I will be in 4 months, I do not know who I will be at that moment in time.  What my mind will be set on, or who will be standing at my side helping me on my journey.  

One year ago I posted talking about how frustrating it was to not be settled, I talked about my attempts to lose weight, drink less and get back to a better physical and mental state.  These are still things that I still am striving to do.  I do not feel like I failed because reviewing the last 365 days I have accomplished a lot.

I worked for a production company and started to learn a new trade.  Ran a 10k some 5k’s and 2 half marathons.  Karaoke!  I got a job at a big internet company in Silicon Valley, Concerts and music festivals Outside Lands, Oysterfest, Cake, Tenacious D, Mute Math, Rufus W, My roommate and I adopted a dog for 3 months, I moved from East Bay to San Jose, Had visitors friends and relatives visit from Australia, Boston, New York, New Jersey, Backpacked and camped in Yosemite, “Teacher” home poker nights, I closed the door on a creative project I was working on for 5 years and was invited to be a part of one I was a fan of, Comedians and Cirque’s acts, Baseball and Soccer games, Travel for work, Dating in and out of the Bay area, Surfing and Beach Trips, Dance parties and countless stories with great people both new and familiar.  

It took me a long time but I’m finally waking up, I’m back to my core, my sense of adventure and curiosity is back.  I’m a version of myself that I haven’t been in a very long time and I’m happy that I’m back.  

Cognitive Surplus

As a child I was highly intelligent, a good student, and a hard worker.  I left that all behind because I wanted to be liked, social and popular.  In like I get what I want and also what I deserve.  It’s time that I no longer am afraid of the way that I think and analyze the world, regardless of if it is the unpopular decision.

Memento Mori

I’ve been living out in California now for 1 year and 16 days.  I am writing tonight because I have a fire burning deep within me and I want to remember this feeling.

After spending some time with a rather complex, highly intelligent individual, I have begun to re-examine my life and relationships.  Normal is no longer something that I want to be comfortable with.  I have come to grips that way to many people settle for an ordinary life simply because they don’t ask questions or challenge themselves.  I’m not saying that everyone should be extraordinary but that I want to continue to walk the path of someone who is.  One person was able to challenge the concept of who I am, simply by living his life.  This Apple pie, clean cut, clark kent, white bread american has challenged my concept of social interaction in a way that I deem life changing.

This weekend my girlfriend encountered the dregs of society while at a bar on Long Island.  There are TV shows about high school aged gypsies getting married in the south.  When I spoke with her about our future, we both were passionately excited about the desires we have to continually improve upon ourselves and not to settle for the mediocre.  If I wind up watching 2-3 hours of TV a night I am not living my life to it’s fullest potential.  The rich days full of loves ones and grace make me feel like I am doings things right.  Part of our humanity is that we only have a finite amount of time on this blue marble, so live a life of no regrets.

Rivers And Roads

A year from now we’ll all be gone

All our friends will move away
And they’re goin’ to better places
But our friends will be gone away

Nothin’ is as it has been
And I miss your face like hell
And I guess it’s just as well
But I miss your face like hell

Been talkin’ ‘bout the way things change
And my family lives in a different state
If you don’t know what to make of this
Then we will not relate
So if you don’t know what to make of this
Then we will not relate

Rivers and roads
Rivers and roads
Rivers till I reach you 

253 Days

Today I declared that I am finally unpacked and officially moved into my new place.  Over the past 8 months and 8 days I’ve taken time to exorcise my body, mind and spirit and after what felt like countless lessons in patience I am finally settled in.  Much time has passed since I have sat down at my keyboard and expressed what is going on in my life.  This could be understood as both a positive and a negative.  I am not wasting my time brooding over what if’s, or sitting in anxiety over what may come instead I am just living.  It also means that I haven’t had time just to sit and organize my thoughts in a digital fashion.  

I found myself thinking today about memories and how precious they are.  As the years pass me by I find that I am forgetting more memories and events then I am creating.  The past can be ensnaring, allowing you to think of better days or time spent with good people, but at the end of the day it is just that, past.  The best you can do is be grateful for what blessings you have received and look forward to what the next day will bring.

Lessons learned over the past 8 months really have helped transform me into someone who is more self-aware of his faults.  I have miles to go before I can rest, before I can even be considered a good example to others but I’m working on it more each day.  As long as I don’t forget the lessons learned I will hopefully not fall back into my old ways.

Family was another theme that kept coming into my mind today.  My biological family is still back in NY but thanks to modern day technology like Skype they are never more then a push of a button away.  I am not without family here in California though and I am reminded constantly of how much I treasure those family members that surround me.  Brothers and Sisters, we all lookout for and care for each other.  Good people have a way of finding each other.  

In the new year I have been attempting to start each day in the proper mindset.  Taking time to exorcise my body, mind and spirit before I step foot into world.  I am more and more grateful and appreciative of what I have been blessed with.  Each morning I celebrate my job when so many are still seeking, a space I can call my own and family who can help fill up both the space and my life.